J. Mack Johnson's Blog

Why Pick Lines Don’t Work!

Don’t get laughed at.  You be fooling yourself if you think that’s all you gotta do to holla at these hoes.  Even if it worked and you got her attention, then what you gonna do next?

Getting with girls is all about you inside.  Have the confidence to where it’s a damn privilege to be talking to you.  Not the other way around.

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You know having a good sense of humor is the fruit of life, and this is especially true when it comes to picking up on a girl no matter where the location. Make them laugh, and I guarantee, that you are very close to getting their phone number and even to getting them to go out with you.

But, as we all know, making them laugh, is easier said than done. Precisely for those who find it difficult to come up with something funny to say, I am adding some funny anecdotes and wise cracks that you can memorize and then use in those situations where you need to get the girl in front of you to laugh.

1) The Prescription:
Did you hear of the lady, who walked into the pharmacist and asked for arsenic?
The man behind the counter asked in wonder, “What do you need that for?
The lady calmly replied,” to kill my husband.”
The pharmacist was taken aback,” Are you crazy? Do you want to get us both into jail? And, anyway, why do you want to kill him? Go to a counselor. Get help for your marriage.”
The lady paused and from her purse she removed a set of pictures of her husband and the wife of the pharmacist in some very creative postures.
The pharmacist looked at the snaps, put them down and smiled,” lady, why did you not tell me that you have a prescription?”

2) The Tip Book
A wife calls out to her husband, “Have you seen the book, 101 Tips to Live for More Than a Hundred Years?
The husband sheepishly replies, “I burnt it.”
“What?” the wife shouted out,” why?”
The husband whispered back,” Because your mother wanted to read it.”

3) Range of Food
Looking at his wife fry meat balls in all kinds of shapes and sizes, Tom tapped her on the shoulder, “Why?”
His wife turned,” Because you asked for a variety of food.”

4) Mushrooms
Tom was picking mushrooms from the forest floor with his wife, when she picked up one and showed it to Tom,” Is this for eating?”
Tom smiled,” Yes. As long as you do not cook it.”

5) Driving Around
Tom greeted his wife when she returned home,” So, my dear, how was your first time driving all alone?”
His wife smiled coyly, “Do you want to hear it from me or read about it in the papers?

6) Drama
A couple are watching a film in their local theater when the wife snuggles close to her husband and points to the screen,” Do you think that they will get married in the end?”
The husband sighs,” Yes. These movies always have bad endings.”

7) The Library
Tom visited the local library, walks up to the librarian and asks, “Do you know where I can find the book, the Supremacy of Men over Women?”
The librarian conducts a short search on the computer and looks up,” you will be able to find it in the science fiction.”

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Black players: The Secret World of Black pimps

Iceberg Slim is probably the best known and also the least known Superpimp of all time.

“Best known” because his autobiography “Pimp: The Story of My Life” was a surprise underground best-seller in the 1960s, when it sold in the millions, especially to a vast audience of black street hustlers. “Least known” because the talented, reclusive writer and self-confessed psychopath found redemption in later life as a doting father — who zealously protected his daughters from the kind of abuse he had routinely dished out to his own whores (ho’s). Repeated jail sentences, the last time in a “steel casket,” cured him of any further hunger for “The Life.”

Iceberg’s self-examination and incisive observations of the underdog ghetto culture that spawned him constitute a saga of American society’s underbelly, particularly during the 1930s and 1940s. His stories, told in accurate street language, influenced rap and hip-hop culture down to our own day. One lame rapper audaciously appropriated his name, and mainstream entertainers like Ice-T and Snoop Dog acknowledge him as the idol of their youthful “gangsta” years.

Now British author and editor Ian Whitaker has taken meticulous pains to track down the “lost” interviews with Iceberg from almost impossible-to-find magazines and newspapers, along with new interviews with those who knew him, including his daughter Misty. Richard Milner, co-author of the anthropological study “Black Players; The Secret World of Black Pimps,” contributes a new reminiscence of his contentious encounter with the King of Tricksters. Whitaker also reprints Milner’s original classic 1969 interview with Iceberg in full.

“The Lost Interviews” is an entertaining, fast-moving, and enlightening read. If you ever wondered about what goes on in the mind and the life of a warped genius who was “totally dedicated to pimping women,” here’s your opportunity to find out.

Iceberg Slim: The Lost Interviews with the Pimp